Newton's Laws of Software

Law 1:

Every Software Engineer continues his state of chatting or
forwarding mails unless he is assigned work by manager.

Law 2:

The rate of change in the software is directly proportional to
the payment received from client and takes place at the quick rate as
when deadline force is applied.

Law 3:

For every Use Case Manifestation there is an equal but opposite
Software Implementation.

Law 4:

Bugs can neither be created nor be removed from software by a
developer. It can only be converted from one form to another. The total
number of bugs in the software always remains constant

Comments

I knew you would come!

There were two childhood buddies who went through school and college and even joined the army together. War broke out and they were fighting in the same unit. One night they were ambushed. Bullets were flying all over and out of the darkness came a voice, "Harry, please come and help me." Harry immediately recognized the voice of his childhood buddy, Bill . He asked the captain if he could go. The captain said, "No, I can't let you go, I am already short-handed and I cannot afford to lose one more person. Besides, the way Bill sounds he is not going to make it." Harry kept quiet. Again the voice came, "Harry, please come and help me." Harry sat quietly because the captain had refused earlier. Again and again the voice came. Harry couldn't contain himself any longer and told the captain, "Captain, this is my childhood buddy. I have to go and help." The captain reluctantly let him go. Harry crawled through the darkness and dragged Bill back...

I'm broke!!!

A little old lady answered a knock on the door one day, to be confronted by a well-dressed young man carrying a vacuum cleaner . "Good morning," said the young man. "If I could take a couple minutes of your time , I would like to demonstrate the very latest in high-powered vacuum cleaners..." "Go away!" said the old lady. "I'm broke and haven't got any money!" and she proceeded to close the door. Quick as a flash, the young man wedged his foot in the door and pushed it wide open... "Don't be too hasty!" he said. "Not until you have at least seen my demonstration." And with that, he emptied a bucket of horse manure onto her hallway carpet. "Now if this vacuum cleaner does not remove all traces of this horse manure from your carpet, Madam, I will personally eat the remainder." The old lady stepped back and said, "Well, let me get you a fork, 'cause they cut off my electricity this morning....

Truth - Short Story :)

A lady told her Husband to go to the store to buy cigarettes. He walks down to the store to find it closed.So he goes into a nearby bar to use the vending machine. At the bar he sees a beautiful woman n starts talking to her. They hv few beers n one thing leads to another n they end up in her apartment. Later, he wakes up n realizes its 3AM n says, "Oh no, its so late, my wife's going to get really angr...y. Have you got any talcum powder?" She gives him some powder. He rubs it on his hands n leaves. At the door, angry wife "Where the hell hv u been?" "Well, honey, I went to the store like you asked, but they were closed. So I went to the bar to use the vending machine. I saw this great lukin girl there n we hd a few drinks n one thing led to another n I ended up in bed with her." "Oh yeah? Lemme c ur hands!" She sees his hands are covered with powder . "You God damn liar! You were playing pool again!" Moral of the st...

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